Cold Approach

I either do it and get rejected, or I don’t do it and have to live with the regret.

I have walked away from these situations so many times and have always been saddled with crushing disappointment in myself for the rest of the day.

So I mustered the courage. I swooped by the trash can on their side of the courtyard, got out a sticker and then braced myself to botch the fuck out of this.

I pull up and she looks dead ahead at her friend, in the middle of a story. I wave and say “hello.” She doesn’t react. I hold out a sticker. “Do you want a sticker?” She finally looks away from her friend.

“Oh…. Um…” She clearly thinks this is weird.

“I’m Jack.” It comes out meekly, getting lost in the noise. “I saw you from over there, and thought you were cute.” It all came spilling out so fast.

“…sure,” she responds to the sticker being held out in front of her. She takes it hesitantly. She doesn’t read it, then looks back to her friend.

!!Abort mission!!

I bail. Wheeling away slowly.

Wow, that was a failure. I give myself a post-game rundown. The options were total failure or regret, and honestly, I think regret might have been worse. It went bad, but at least I knew how the story ended, instead of spending the rest of the afternoon making up a dozen different possible endings.

I had the perfect order for the conversation laid out in my head before the approach.

“Hi, I’m Jack.” Pause, allow for a response.

“I saw you from over there. I think you’re cute.” Pause, allow for a response.

Then drop the big one: “Do you want a Fucking Sticker?” Then I duck out. I wasn’t expecting her to be interested in asking me questions. Maybe she offers her name. That would be a victory.

But wow, that was way worse than I drew it up.

It doesn’t matter, we’re all just space dust on a floating rock for a blip of time. Just do it! Approach that girl.

But also that was cringe.

Since it happened I’ve been somewhat proud. I’ve laughed about it many times. I’m not convinced I know how to do it better next time, but at least now it’s an inside joke.

It felt like it was a step in the right direction, like it will culminate in something.